In case you haven't figured it out, it's a dick reference.

Hey Draft Party Blog fans, that loud siren you hear is the new bit alert is going off!  I’d like to say that I have time to put together relevant and timely draft analysis accompanied by video footage, but if you read this blog you realize you get what you pay for.  What I can do is make snarky comments, provide some info about the draft, post rambling pieces about what is upsetting me that day, crush your mom with the ‘ol skin pipe, and throw a nice draft party.  To that end, I have taken the time to do a little research to help you, dear blog reader, in your obsessing over porn the draft in the coming months.

There’s a great draft resource at draftbreakdown.com that has all of the normal bullshit about the draft (e.g., “he’s a can’t miss prospect because of his fluid thorax dynamic and his extended ankle sweep range”), but it also has a good deal of video for top prospects.  You can find highlight packages on YouTube, but unless you like Nu Metal soundtracks and ADHD editing it can be headache inducing.  So, for this new bit I’ll include a link to the draftbreakdown.com page for the prospect, some of the less nauseating videos from YouTube, and maybe some analysis.

Because this post has already taken my strength Storm-style, I thought I’d start with the easiest prospect to evaluate – Andrew Luck.  The noted architecture student and amateur mouth breather is pretty fucking awesome (FN 1).  The only concern I have is that it looks like he’s shot-putting the ball sometimes, but what the hell do I know.  I thought Peyton Manning would suck because he moved his feet too much in college (you can see some evidence of his dancing feet in the video below):

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I might have been wrong about that, but I did a lot of blow back then.  Anyways, Andrew Luck is going to be really good, but you should watch some highlights and see for yourself.  More packages to cum in future weeks.

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FN 1 – that’s a draft analysis term of art.

  1. Sports OBL says:

    OMA! Jamal Lewis was on that team with Pay-ton Man-ning. WTF? How did they not crush everyone???